Posts by Tyrone van leyen

12

PTSD ... The Rest of the Story

by The Berean in

jw
friends

on a previous posting i suggested that i have experienced post-traumatic stress disorders due to my jw upbringing.

feedback has been mixed.

some agree with my assessment, others suggest a misdiagnosis on my part.. please allow me to be more specific concerning actual events that led to my usage of that trerm:.

Tyrone van leyen

Sounds like we have a bit in common Berean. Sorry. I didn't mean to take over your thread before. I wasn't sure if Georgie was referring to me or you.

Anyhow, it can get very confusing. You see, there are diagnosis' that can be mistaken for something else, and the more you learn the more confusing it gets. I like to keep things simple.

You see, the human mind is a very complex and indivdual thing. What effects some, may not effect others, depending on your makeup and all the contribting variables. For example, some folks can fight the dirtiest war and see horrors that end up making them snap, like Arthor Shawcross. Others can see the same things, and take it more in stride, so to speak. The visual info is being processed differently. The movie " Full metal jacket illustrates this. Background, gentics and the severity of trauma make each case rather unique and complex. Therefore how can a correcet diagnosis be reached.

I know exactly what your talkin about though, with the low self esteem. Every day I wake up I wonder, "why in the hell am I alive? What for? I won't go into detail about me. I'm not a professional, nor do I know you, but have you ever looked at something called Asperger Syndrome. It is highly underdiagnosed. They say one in 300 people have it. It is a bit like a mild form of autism. It's symptoms include, having difficulty with eye contact. Not being able to pick up signals from girls, not being unable to bond with others. eccentricity,( High intelligence, could be the good part though.) It just means we're wired differently. So anyone raised as a witness, that has this condition will experience a far worse scenario than others and will be more easily singled out than others. The elders love to find victims to single out. This is my new theory with regard to me. It could be mistaken however for disassociative disorder or probably a whole bunch of other things.

Naturally, all the things that happen , and shaped you caused pain, but living in witness world could potentially make it ten times worse. They say that plenty of love and attention could bring someone out of this their shell with regards to autism and I beleive the same to be true with Aspergers. The problem always was, artificial love, and a punitive, judicial insane upbringing.

I'm not saying this is you. But it might be worth lookin at. By the way I disagree that a person can't diagnose themselves. I have pretty much diagnosed myself all my life with doctors and have later been found to be correct

67

Why do you think Jesus never wrote anything down?

by journey-on in

jw
friends

if his message was to be followed like a rule book, wouldn't he have written down some things with his own hand?.

Tyrone van leyen

St. Ann is correcet the tradition at the time of Tiberious was called Mishna. The spoken word. If the Romans found anything with names this could have been very incriminating. Thats if there was a Jesus.

10

What no sports?!

by Chalam in

i was reading the list of don'ts and do's for jws in a recent thread and was slightly surprised by the prohibition of sports.. we are not talking violent sport like boxing or such, just athletics, ball sport and stuff right?.

when i thought about it i was not so surprised as my jw friend said a long time back he wasn't into football and i agreed, i am not the greatest fan (although i gladly watch brazil!).

so what do the kids do at school, sit out and watch?

Tyrone van leyen

Lets just say it's discouraged for some and not for others depending on who your tight with. It's more about fellowship with non beleivers and commradery that could lead to straying form spiritual goals.

Some parents will enforce this insanity some won't.

Collage and university are discouraged as well. In other words you can do it if you want but we don't like it much and it might mean some uncomfortable feelings at times. depends on the click your in and how nutty your parents are.

Playin sports within the witness world is fine. Unfortunately their no time to form international witness football teams cuz we wouldn't have time to sell magazines. further this might be perceived by outsiders as more worldly than spritual. Image is everything to a witness. Even if your a scumbag. Just don't show it and you'll be fine.

33

Does Psychiatry Truely understand JW Post Traumatic Stress Disorders?

by The Berean in

jw
friends

the professionals i have visited don't seem to get it.

they believe you can just get over it and move on .... what say you?.

Tyrone van leyen

No, it's not that Steve. I think he was letting me vent for one. But I wasn't able to really verbalize the whole thing either. Too much happened, and I was very disturbed at the time. He was giving me something to calm me so I could speak more, but it seemed to have the opposite effect on me. He sat in silence for months. I couldn't ever figure out why he wouldn't talk much to me. It was because he was trying to drive home the point that I don't know how to communicate. He was right too. Talking to some is actually an art form. Just cuz your lips are flappin doesn't mean you are communicating. He got out a piece of paper one day, and showed me that there are 31 things that it takes on both parties sides if you wish to communicate efectively. One of them is trust. And with me. Their ain't none. There's more too it than that though.

Reality in some cases has to be lowered very slowly on some people, or you will blow their minds. This board does not bear, that intensity for me.

33

Does Psychiatry Truely understand JW Post Traumatic Stress Disorders?

by The Berean in

jw
friends

the professionals i have visited don't seem to get it.

they believe you can just get over it and move on .... what say you?.

Tyrone van leyen

Thanks anyhow. I've survived a long time with help from no one, and figured out a great deal, through shear thought. I have more peace now, than ever before. My posts may not always indicate this, because I'm living in the moment when I type, but I've come a long way.

33

Does Psychiatry Truely understand JW Post Traumatic Stress Disorders?

by The Berean in

jw
friends

the professionals i have visited don't seem to get it.

they believe you can just get over it and move on .... what say you?.

Tyrone van leyen

Hi Georgie. I checked out your link. Interesting. It seems that alot of the cases mentioned refer more to physical trauma. In the extreme. I think soldiers used to call this shell shock. Anyways, there's a lot you don't know about my life, but I would have to say that most of my anguish has always been more mental extremes, from left to right. I was a true beleiver, a born in, and with my religious as well as social structure collapsing. It's funny however, that I seem to meet alot of the end results. Perhaps it wasn't PTSD I can't say for sure. I have come up with another theory though in my search for answers. There are many other factors, I have never talked about, here regarding my life. It's rather complicated.

33

Does Psychiatry Truely understand JW Post Traumatic Stress Disorders?

by The Berean in

jw
friends

the professionals i have visited don't seem to get it.

they believe you can just get over it and move on .... what say you?.

Tyrone van leyen

Without question the upheaval in my life caused by shunning sent me over the edge. At 19 years old, I found living at home unbearable and kingdom halls even worse. I didn't know where to turn. I was too depressed and disturbed to work at this point. I can remember sleeping in my airtight Lincoln and being unable to think and feeling numb. I'm sure this was PTSD cuz I never experienced this before. This was the beginning of my downward spiral.

It wasn't till years later that a social worker asked why I don't work and as soon as I mentioned the witnesses and my family, to my suprize, she really seemed to understand what I was talking about. She sent me to a good shrink but I found it too intense and it was endless sessions of vile bitching. Still though, the help was there and still is.

I prefer however to have no contact with humanity, and use this board as my electronic shrink. I can vent and acess the endless files of JWD. Much to my chagrin, as good as the board is in healing, I have never really met anyone yet who has had my particular experience. It's too much man everyone has a different story of course and at least this board gives me comfort from knowing their are others who have been hurt too. I suppose a witness shrink would be ideal but there is no way they can match the depth and width of the forum archives.

38

Did being raised a JW retard your career or cost you BIG $$$?

by The Berean in

jw
friends

i was offered a journalism scholarship at ohio state ... mom made me turn it down cause "armageddonwas near"... ended up a janitor!

.

Tyrone van leyen

I should have given modeling a go. It was'nt even on the table . I know plenty of dubs who did though. I was offered education at Osgoode hall in Torornto, but I was so disturbed by the time I got the offer, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

When I was 17 years of age, the sister of Peter Jennings ( the American news caster), who owned Springfeild mews condominiums, where I worked, liked me so much, they asked me if I would work in their pub, The Bird Cage. I said no way. I am one of Jehovah's Shitnesses. She said, oh no dear,we just want you to stoke the fire a bit and a few light duties. I said,I'm afraid my christian standards just won't allow it. I used to do errands for Jennings mother, as well. It could have led to much bigger things without question. I was working double time for these people and breaking my back. They just wanted to make my life easier. F@#$

Throughout the years after the damage was done,I turned down offers all the time. Once from two ladies who were on tour from Findlay Ohio, who were sisters,and rich. Between them,they owned six gas wells. They gave me 40dollars american just for talking to them,and their adress in Findlay. I never took them up on it.

I could go on. But what's the point. All that was lost is beyond beleif. No chess, no Dungeons and dragons, no dating, no "F" all, and for what? Empty promises, bullshit, backstabbing, lies. You Effin Effers,owe me big time! 6 years of the streets and seven living at the YMCA> FU!~

48

Were YOU A "Good" Jehovah's Witness?

by minimus in

jw
friends

when you look back, were you considered a "good" jw?

?.

Tyrone van leyen

Honest to a fault. Including self incrimination. Hard working, obeyed all rules, never dated. It didn't count for squat!

44

Tell the ''Governing Body'' one thing that you've always wanted them to know!

by RULES & REGULATIONS in

the only reason you have total control over all of your members is your false ''faithful and discreet slave'' scripture.

this scripture was applied only for your benefit.

without this scripture your whole religion would fall..

Tyrone van leyen

Let he who hasn't sinned cast the first stone. That's really plain language guys. You are sinners! What part of that, don't you understand. If the original guys who were running your org. were still alive today and hadn't aged, I would then accept your authority, but it seems the wages of sin is death for you, as it is for everyone else.

You see fellas, there is a big difference between crime and sin. Crimes are things that get judged for in this world, usually in a courtroom. Nobody goes to jail, or gets punished for sin, or we would all be in jail, including you guys.

Judge not, lest you be judged. That's pretty plain language too, you jokers. Who gave you the authority, to sit in judgement of your fellow man for sin. You shall be judged by the same measure as this thread is demonstrating.

How do you sleep at night, knowing your awful, sinful nature? How fair is it, that for the very people who support your insanity and make you wealthy, that you treat them like lesser beings, by not only perverting justice by judging sin, but by actually having a dream team of lawyers, who ignore due process and appoint unqualified non magistrates in the backrooms of your kingdom halls to stifle all descent and fairness.

If there is a God you have spent the last 130 years perverting scripture and justice. This is because you favour the chauvanistic old testament. Shunning is old testment, and if you could legally stone people you'd probably give it a go. For your own sake you better hope there isn't a God cuz your pokin him right in the eye.